I’m so fucking tired of feeling
defective. I never know if people don’t want to get close relationship wise
because of me or what I call the birth defect. I have had straight guys confirm
that because of that 5% male they are a little (sometimes more than a little)
turned off. I wonder if that is a problem with the lesbians I know as well. I
will admit that I have depression and suicide issues also. Those however have
been determined to be linked to the TG/TS situation which I have going on.
I also get people telling me how fucking
intelligent I am. Which first of all makes me think their idiots. Mainly
because I hang around with some hard core nerds. Also I know where I lack
knowledge and how much I bullshit.
In any case I’m tired of this fucking
eternal limbo which is now my life. I didn’t ask to be born TS it just happened
and I tried for 3 decades to deal with it and except a bod which was my prison
and guess what. It didn’t work.
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