Gypsy Girl on Tranny

Merriam Webster dictionary on line :

 

Full Definition of TRANNY

:  transmission 3

See tranny defined for English-language learners »

Examples of TRANNY

1.    He fixed the car's tranny.

 

 

Urban Dictionary on line:

 

tranny

1. transvestite
2. transsexual
3. transparency (photog.)
4. transit van (veh.)

"Fuck. I have left the trannies of the trannies in the back of the tranny."

- A fetish photographer.

 

When I was a kid the only thing I knew of traniess was the first definition until I ran acrossThe Rocky Horror Picture show. At that time I ran across the term I thought it was funny. I still think it's funny even when it used to describe myself. In fact I use it to describe me.

 

The fact that I have no problem with the word often can leave me in the position of not being that popular with the LGBT community. Truthfully I don't care. I have a lot of opinions which leave me unpopular in several communities. To that I say screw it. I have been a member of many communities even if it is just on the fringes. Guess what I didn't asked to be part of the LGBT community I am one because of the misfortune of the way I was born.

 

Does that mean I regret the way  I was born? Yes, in a way it does, however I have come to terms with it. Why would I regret it? Because a portion it I look at as birth defect. The other reason would be the simple fact that at times I feel like no one understands. Often people in the LGBT community seem not to understand. I am pan-sexual and transsexual. The first is the subject of another post,

 

So now we get back on the track of the current tranny topic. People it is just a word. How can I say that? Because it is. Come on it has different meanings. Why be upset with the word for the way it is used. A word is a tool being made at a word is like being made at the hammer when it is used to smash your fingers by a loan shark. The hammer had nothing to do with it. However the difference between the word and the hammer is you can choose whether or not the word can hurt you. I'm also Irish one of the people who originally reclaimed a racial slur. Mick used to be used against us and now many that I know choose to embrace it or ignore it.

 

So for those who don't like the term I offer a come back: “I am not a piece of a car.” They could also choose to reclaim the word because people will continue to use it whether we like it or not. Reclaim it and say so what. However if you find a way to make the slur being used to describe people who are trans, I say more power to you. It really isn't that big of a thing in the grand scheme of things.

Rainbow Cult

What is the Rainbow Cult? In short another theory that is more then likely to get me in trouble. It refers to a portion of the LGBT community.

 

There is a portion of the LGBT community that likes to have the world believe that everything in the community is all rainbows and butterflies except when it comes to the acceptance of the rest of society. If you are part of this community and do not except it you are not doing all you can to further the LGBT progress of being excepted. To this I call bullshit.

 

The people in the LGBT community are exactly that people. They are prone to being misinformed just like anyone else. Just because you are LGBT which is a club that people don't actually decide to join (much like one does not decide to be white). Each letter has it's own fanatics and you may not even realize it until you set down and get to know them. These fanatics are the ones who are the ones I have dumbed the Rainbow Cult. So before I get jumped if you are LGBT it does not mean you are a rainbow cult member.

 

What kind of fanatics or differences am I talking about? Well lets start with the theory of you have to do it our way or you're not doing it right. Should be self explanatory. My response to this is simple “Wake the hell up.” We are all different and have had different upbringings, different thought processes, we also have different obstacles that have been thrown our way. Rather then saying someone should do it your way why not help them find the way that works best for them. Members of our community are not popped out from a cookie cutter pattern. Your's is not the only way.

 

Now the in fighting with in the letters. For some strange reason there are Ls and Gs who seem to have and Issue with the Bs and the Ps (pan sexual). Why? I'm glad you asked. The Ls and Gs often side with straight people and seem to feel that the Bs and Ps need to get off the fence. Sighting that they are greedy or that they have a greater chance of not being faithful. I call bull because even if this were true there are always outliers. I myself am pan sexual and have been married twice and divorced twice. My sexual preference is not the reason it didn't not work. In fact in the first marriage it was my partner who was unfaithful. The second it was me beinging trans and other issues that brought the walls crashing down. In fact if I'm in a declared relationship no matter the gender I am completely monogamous unless the rules of the relationship declare otherwise.

 

Now the Ts which have their own set of prejudice. I have witnessed how some trans seem to believe in a trans hierarchy which I don't buy into. At the bottom of the list is cross-dressers and gender-benders. These are often looked at as weekend warriors and having a lack of commitment or reducing the trans community to a joke. They are living their lives as they see fit and are comfortable with dressing as gender that does not align with their birth sex on occasion. There are trans-gender individuals who  are those who may or may not have had hormones yet and attempt to (or hopefully succeed) live in the gender that does not align with their birth sex. They are another group which is looked at as not having the commitment they should have as trans individuals. See previous comment on cross-dressers. In addition some of these people have no choice because of financial restraints which make hormones and definitely surgery out of the question.

 

Last but not least, because they are at the top of the hierarchy, the transsexuals. They come in two categories;  pre-op and post-op. This means one has had genital reassignment surgery or not. This according to some of them at the top should be the end goal. Even they have issues with each other. The main issue being when post-op transsexuals go and become stealth. What is stealth? SOOO glad you asked. Stealth is when an individual completely assimilates into their new gender role. Sometimes this means they cut ties with their past and worse the community, unless they fit into the Ls, Gs, Bs, or Ps.  These ones, transsexuals both pre and post, appear to be where most of the judgment amongst trans  people. Even though some post try to work themselves out of the Rainbow Cult and into the world of hetro-normative society.

 

Remember that I said there were outliers. I hope these I have stated are the case. However the Rainbow Cult will have you believe that they don't exist because if you knew the Rainbow agenda would fall apart and you would see they are not all perfect. So to the Rainbow Cult I say get the fuck down off your high horse and join society.

The nights can realy suck

I used to like the night. It’s funny how time can change that. I still hat the light. It exposes all and leaves you no place to hide anything. You can’t hide your pain when everyone can see your tears. So I used to find refuge in the dark. After all, the best parties happen after dark. But what do you do when the dark turns on you?

What do I mean? It seems now days that the dark harbors this ungodly silence. It taunts me reminding me of everything I have lost; my loving spouse, my high paying (for this area) job which I determined the hours, but most importantly my little gem of a daughter. I don’t know if I will ever get her back. The others I could care less about but not having my baby near me grows harder and harder as the days go by and can become unbearable at night.

When the party is done and everyone is gone the silence comes. With the silence come the thoughts. With the thoughts come the tears. With the tears comes anger. The anger turns to rage. The rage makes me want to scream and tear the world apart. I can’t tell anyone about it. They would never understand it. How can you explain that it takes every ounce of energy at time to keep the rage in check and the depression at bay? 

I used to wait eagerly for the dark so that I could come alive. Now I pray for the daylight. When the sun comes up the mask comes on. The daylight is my spotlight where I can pretend that I’m someone else and that what was done to me never happened. I can pretend that someone else made the mistakes. That I didn’t lose everything that was important. That I didn’t lose a year or more worth of progress.

The Gypsy Girl @ the edge of the world

 

People say the world is round so there can be no edge.

But that’s simply not true.

For the Gypsy Girl stares out over the edge

Looking into the dark abyss which is beyond the world

Behind her there is a world of life filled with hope

In front there is the void that shows nothing and releases nothing

She cannot pull away

She has looked back to the world once or twice

When a gentle hand has touched her and helped her back

But the void calls to her

A sweet sad song

A song that says “join me”

She cannot pull away and is tired

Tired of fighting

Tired of standing

So she sits

Her legs dangling over the edge of the world

A weird sensation fills her

She can feel the darkness wrap around her legs

It feels strangely comforting

The darkness seeps in through her feet

It chills and warms at the same time

The siren song promises no more pain if she slips into the deep

So easy it would be to let go

Push off from the ledge and sink

But then the hope in the world would be lost to her

Then again so will all the pain

There is no pain in the void

There is no fear

There is no worry

She leans over

She stares closer into the dark

She hears the sweet song

She inches closer

Her legs dangling even farther

She reaches out her hand

The other firmly grasping the ground behind her

Darkness moves towards the outstretched hand

Her fingers start to let loose of the ground

She leans even farther

She completely lets go

She starts to slip over the edge of the world

You grab her shoulders just in time

You pull her up and step back from the edge

You hold her in your arms

She asks you why

You kiss her forehead and hold tighter

She whispers thank you

The adventuring party

                The Gypsy girl had been involved in several different adventuring parties. Many of them were made up of the same type of people. Perhaps that’s because she had always been attracted to those types. She had also had lovers and love interests in the past. She had been both hunter and prey when it came to love. She had been both accepted and denied. She had both accepted and denied others. However this time, with this party, things were different.

 It was still a large party with many of the same types. A motley crew that many would think could survive together. Unlikely friends who should never have met. But those people couldn’t see the connections. They couldn’t see the string that ran through the group and the intricate web that continued to shift and change. The Gypsy could however. On an instinctual level even if no a physical level she could see the connections in the world as well as the potential.  That potential was not only in the world around her but the individuals which she came in contact with.

Now all adventuring parties no matter how big or small have a tendency to splinter within the party. This is not to say the turn against each other. In fact when it is time for a quest they will cover each other until the very end even if it means there own life. No, when I talk about splintering I mean during the down time. You have a lot of one on one time depending on the person. Apparently this has been the case with the Gypsy, who no one can seem to get enough time with. But for the Gypsy she had a core interest group. Three she was hopelessly attracted to. Three she couldn’t figure out why because while they had similarities they were hugely different.

Who are they? Well you have the wizard, the damsel, and the warrior. They have different personalities and alignments but for whatever reason she was drawn to them. So what makes them so special? That is a story for another time.

The Gypsy Girl and the Knife

 

When you work in the family business you’re surrounded by tools of that trade. For the little Gypsy Girl one of those tools was the knife. The knife is a tool used to open things. This is just what the Gypsy Girl did on a daily bases. Over time one thing would become the sole object of her focus to open.

As time went by she started feeling more and more restricted by her prison. The walls which grew with her seemed to not grow fast enough. They restricted her. She couldn’t seem to break free. Not only did the prison restrict her soul, it concealed the Gypsy girl from the sight of the world. No one could see her true beauty. They couldn’t see the love she had to share. They couldn’t see her pain. Worst of all because of this prison they couldn’t even see that she was a girl.

                Not everything was bad about this prison. After all it had an amazing design that was very clever. It was able to grow as to not be too cramped. It didn’t look like a prison so no one would know she was a captive. It was mobile allowing her to see things even if she couldn’t really feel them.

                So she took the knife firmly in her grasp. She turned it on the prison trying to release her true self. The more she scratched at it the more frustrated she became. They could never understand why she did it. They didn’t realize the prison she was trapped so escape made no sense. They would tell her that they understood that she was trying to feel something. But all she wanted to do was escape.

                Finally she turned to the witches and their potions. Slowly the potions and spells started to transform the prison. People could start to see what she truly was and that she was a she. What many couldn’t see was the lock. It was cleverly hidden. Some knew it was there. A few seemed to take delight in reminding her of it. Perhaps they felt she should remain imprisoned.  Perhaps they were angry about their own prisons. Others who didn’t know about the lock she had to keep at a safe distance for fear they would punish her for trying to escape.

                So she fondles the knife wanting to scratch at the lock. Sometimes she comes close to prying it open herself. Instead she scratches at the remaining walls.

After all when trying to open a lock t is better to use a lock smith. But still patients wears thin.

Who is there for the gypsy

The gypsies come into town

They live on the fringes of society

They survive by entertaining they locals

They give a show

They cause you to ooo and aww

They cause you to laugh and cry

They offer you comfort

They give you advice

They listen to your problems

You give them money if they are lucky

You use them for their talents

You then shun them

But

Who comforts them

Who gives advice to them

Who listens to their problems